Ducati Monster Motorcycle Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,546 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
SWEARING AT WORK POLICY


It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language
will no longer be tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of New and Innovative phrases have been provided so
that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

3) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.

4 ) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!

5) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

6) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.

7) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.

9) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?

10) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

11) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

12) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

13) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

15) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?


Thank You For Your Consideration,
Human Resources
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,546 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Ummm....by the way.....this IS just a joke. ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
541 Posts
made me smile...actually sounds like a place I used to work at.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,546 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Ok...the scary part of this is, I copied it on to our letter head here at work and made it look official and every single person I showed it to asked "What the hell are they going to make us do next?". None of them even considered it being a joke. [laugh]

Every time I read this thing it makes me laugh because I say the majority of this stuff every day.


"I love a challenge!"
[thumbsup]
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,444 Posts
DukeOddy said:
Ok...the scary part of this is, I copied it on to our letter head here at work and made it look official and every single person I showed it to asked "What the hell are they going to make us do next?". None of them even considered it being a joke. [laugh]

Every time I read this thing it makes me laugh because I say the majority of this stuff every day.


"I love a challenge!"
[thumbsup]
....keep posting, this helps sharpening my language skills (if it can be helped?) ;D [laugh] ;D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,546 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Glad I could help Greg. Anytime. [thumbsup]




Another one of my favorites....."I think you could use more training" [laugh] (No, I don't mean you Greg)
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top