Ducati Monster Motorcycle Forum banner
1 - 20 of 56 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
334 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So after ~4 months I had to tell my parents that I bought a bike
even though I'm forbiddend to do so, but considering that I'm 23 and in grad school
working towards a PhD in biochemistry, I think I'm able to make these decisions.

But I'm getting harped on by all my family immediate and otherwise to sell my bike (i have listed it but, I'm not a motivated seller)

They say I'm being selfish because of the pain I would cause everyone if I got hurt or worse, etc etc. I'm sure you all have heard every reason not to ride. Also a family friend just lost her son to a low side accident on a bike and the mom didnt know and went into denial that it was her son who crashed and died.

So what can I say to help smoothe the situation, or is getting lectured, one of the side effects of owning a motorcycle
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,542 Posts
I hav'nt justified anything to anybody since i moved out on my own 22+ years ago. To quote my good buddy BB King, "I'm payin' the cost to be the boss"

But this truism will serve you well thru life. It's eaiser to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission.

You married fellas know what im talking about here.

Dont sweat if bro. You family will get past it. Dont sell the bike. You can get hurt doing anything. Gear up always, dont ride like a fool and you'll increase your chances becoming an old biker dood.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
781 Posts
I jsut ride it. The wife is cool with it, the rest can just deal with it. All they can say is "Be careful".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
541 Posts
I don't justify it...I wanted it, worked for it and bought it. I've got no problem with it.

I grew up on bikes so when I came home with a bike no one was surprised. The selfish thing isn't enough of an argument to validate a response. I'm an avid skydiver/motorcyclist I do it because I like it not because it's safe. not going to stop jumping, flying overseas, sell my bike and pad my walls because it's safer.

It's their problem not yours your a big boy now.

"Every man dies, not every man lives"(stole that one form Sodark)
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
507 Posts
i don't tell my parents i have one when i do. no sense them worrying about it all the time. i usually don't tell them about stuff until AFTER i've done it. they know about all the stuff i do, just later.

it's true that we could get killed walking down the street, but admittedly motorcycling is riskier than walking down the street. all you can say is, "it makes me happy, i'm willing to accept the additional risk, and i'm smart enough to minimize the risk as much as possible. i wouldn't be me and/or happy if i couldn't do what i love, and you want me to be happy and live a full life, don't you?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
218 Posts
Do you live at home ?

If so, it will be a difficult trip - but....

As long as you are serious about the sport, are safe, always gear up, never drink and ride, no stunting.... then you are your own person. Go for it, because life itself is a risk.

I had the misfortune of being a re-entry rider, and then taking a fall two years into it. I stopped for a year, but the bug got me again and I got back on. Funny thing was the trauma nurse (guy) at the ER was there with me during the time they reset my shoulder and told me he road and had a GSXR - he said "do you love to ride?" I said "yes!", he said "do not stop because of this"


People who love me understand but still fear it. People who like to lecture just do not get it.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
215 Posts
I had to put up with a lot of crap from coworkers when I got back into bikes. They told me I was gonna be a statistic, I would die, etc. I basically had to prove myself by surviving.
A safety course would probably help alleviate some fears. Ride safe.
JP
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,125 Posts
That's the age old question. I hate how many people come up to me, mostly strangers, & tell me how dangerous motorcycles are & give me an example about a friend, relative, etc... that was hurt or worse. I like to turn it around & thank them for scaring me & then make them feel guilty about all the negative energy they're giving me. I tell them they'll probaly cause me to have an accident when they think that way ;)

It's true that riding is dangerous but if you wear your gear & ride within your limits you can certainly minimize your risks & have a great time [thumbsup]

Good luck, I was in your situation when i was 18 & purchased my first sportbike, an 87 Honda VFR 700. Made my parents so mad that after the fight, I move out. Never went back. They got over it after a few months & my Dad even took it out on the weekends as he's always been into bikes & hadn't owned one for a few years. Long story short, we all got thru it [thumbsup]
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
846 Posts
ArmandV said:
So after ~4 months I had to tell my parents that I bought a bike
even though I'm forbiddend to do so, but considering that I'm 23 and in grad school
working towards a PhD in biochemistry, I think I'm able to make these decisions.

But I'm getting harped on by all my family immediate and otherwise to sell my bike (i have listed it but, I'm not a motivated seller)

They say I'm being selfish because of the pain I would cause everyone if I got hurt or worse, etc etc. I'm sure you all have heard every reason not to ride. Also a family friend just lost her son to a low side accident on a bike and the mom didnt know and went into denial that it was her son who crashed and died.

So what can I say to help smoothe the situation, or is getting lectured, one of the side effects of owning a motorcycle
Tell them it's THEY that are being selfish using guilt and ugly thoughts to control you and your choices.
If they loved your truely they would embrace your joy, share your happiness, and not PROJECT their own fears ONTO you.

And yes, I'd quote that to their face. Mine did the same thing, and I said the same thing. Now they ask for photos of track days and the new bike etc etc.

GOD I hate guilt trips.

((probably letting off personal steam here, just felt REAL familiar))

Oh ya. Take your bike off the for sale list. You'll regret it if it goes, and then you'll harbor anger and resentment in the long run.
((which is something ELSE I don't understand about families. All the guilt trippen just leads to lousy resentment))
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
549 Posts
Let them know that you know what you are doing. You wear the gear to minimize what can happen. Point out that the vast majority of motorycle accidents involving major injuries are due to a lack of gear.

You'll still hear it for awhile, but as the parents see you pulling your helmet off each time, they will get used to the idea that you are doing what you can.

You can also throw out the "Cheaper than a therapist" phrase. ;D

My 1st bike I bought while living at home. Mom was NOT happy; even had comments about NOT letting me keep it at home. Now she offers to let me stay there when I go to see the races at Mid-Ohio and she just got done doing some alterations on a pair of riding pants.

They will get used to it...... or they'll get tired of you not listening and quit making comments. You can't live for everyone else. If putting yourself in possible harm's way is selfish, then you should stay home, NOT work, and let them support you. Walking out the front door and getting into a car is dangerous and they do it all the time.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
64 Posts
I'm 39, just getting into motorcycles for the first time. My wife told me i could never have a motorcycle, but now we are in the midst of a really ugly divorce (she thinks I'm trying to kill her and the children >:D, I think she has had a psychotic break :eek:).

I'm looking for the peace of mind from riding. I took the MSF course, I plan on wearing appropriate gear and a full face helmet, but I won't give up this for anybody else.

My wife's idiot lawyer, who's grasp on reality is only undercut by my wife's, will probably use this post against me, so I better not say anything bad about him.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
34 Posts
Paolo Sepi said:
I'm 39, just getting into motorcycles for the first time. My wife told me i could never have a motorcycle, but now we are in the midst of a really ugly divorce (she thinks I'm trying to kill her and the children >:D, I think she has had a psychotic break :eek:).

I'm looking for the peace of mind from riding. I took the MSF course, I plan on wearing appropriate gear and a full face helmet, but I won't give up this for anybody else.

My wife's idiot lawyer, who's grasp on reality is only undercut by my wife's, will probably use this post against me, so I better not say anything bad about him.
ROFLMAO Not to laugh at your situation, b/c dude, that's gotta suck the big one, but I gotta say that last comment made me laugh so hard I about shot wine out of my nose.


Back on topic, I told my parents that I wear all my gear, and want to become an old and wise rider, rather than a young stupid statistic. After I had signed all the paperwork, but before I had taken delivery of the bike, I took my mother into the showroom, and showed her all the bikes they had, showed her the one I was getting, and then showed her all of the safety gear. I told her about how all of it worked together in the event of an incident to protect all of your skin, bones, and organs. When I assured her that I'd never go out w/o all of my gear it calmed her a bit. She still worries, as all mothers will, but she understands now. It's also an incentive to keep me honest and put on all my gear every time I go out. I never leave home without it all.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
353 Posts
Adrenaline, healthiest drug in the world.

I don't try and justify it, anyone who has to ask, challenges, or tries to plant negative thoughts in your head about your choice and passion doesn't understand and probably has very small, if any spherical appendages.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
I don't think you can justify it with anything but time. My folks haven't had a problem with it, even after seeing me in the ER once because of it (no major injuries though). It's just a part of what makes me, me.

When you fall off (and you probably will), is when you will decide if you really want to be a motorcyclist. If not, no love lost. Not everyone should ride. Nobody can promise you will be safe, but we can promise it will be worth it.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,071 Posts
ArmandV said:
So after ~4 months I had to tell my parents that I bought a bike
even though I'm forbiddend to do so, but considering that I'm 23 and in grad school
working towards a PhD in biochemistry, I think I'm able to make these decisions.

But I'm getting harped on by all my family immediate and otherwise to sell my bike (i have listed it but, I'm not a motivated seller)

They say I'm being selfish because of the pain I would cause everyone if I got hurt or worse, etc etc. I'm sure you all have heard every reason not to ride. Also a family friend just lost her son to a low side accident on a bike and the mom didnt know and went into denial that it was her son who crashed and died.

So what can I say to help smoothe the situation, or is getting lectured, one of the side effects of owning a motorcycle
Don't worry, I'm almost 40 and only my brothers know about the bike & they found out by accident! LOL Sooner or later, someone blabs it out. I know it's just a matter of time. I do understand their viewpoint, because I would worry about them if they rode a bike. It reminds me of a comedian that did a skit about pretending to be gay when his father found his leather gear. He rather his father think he was gay then know he had a motorcycle. :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
45,105 Posts
My friends that don't ride all joke that they have a life insurance policy out on me and my Mom isn't real thrilled with me having a bike. But, it's my money and my life, so I do what I want. My Mom understands this and my friends can deal with it. I say do what you want. Be careful and enjoy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,630 Posts
actions speak louder than words. show them that you are responsible...and that you are serious about bikes...they'll come around eventually.

my girl hated my bike at first...but now she rides with me all the time...has her own gear, etc.

my parents were very supportive (i grew up in a moto family...daddy was a dirt tracker ;D) so i can't help you on that one, but i'm assuming it will work the same way. just show how responsible you are man. i've had far more close calls in my car than on my bike.



Paolo Sepi said:
I'm 39, just getting into motorcycles for the first time. My wife told me i could never have a motorcycle, but now we are in the midst of a really ugly divorce (she thinks I'm trying to kill her and the children >:D, I think she has had a psychotic break :eek:).

I'm looking for the peace of mind from riding. I took the MSF course, I plan on wearing appropriate gear and a full face helmet, but I won't give up this for anybody else.

My wife's idiot lawyer, who's grasp on reality is only undercut by my wife's, will probably use this post against me, so I better not say anything bad about him.
good luck with that one man...sounds rough! glad you found a way to relax though....ducatis are good for that
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,893 Posts
Le Pirate said:
actions speak louder than words. show them that you are responsible...and that you are serious about bikes...they'll come around eventually.
Similar for me, too. My wife and family's biggest reservations aren't a question of my judgment -- they're more nervous about me gettin' whacked by some other idiot driver on a cell phone/running a red light/lighting a bong, etc.

I have 2 young kids (ages 4 and 6), and I frequently get the sense that people think I'm "irresponsible" for riding a motorcycle (you can just see this in their eyes). Whenever I sense that a friend or family member is preparing to launch into a "motorcycle safety" lecture, I try to point out a few things:

1. I always wear gear and a helmet. Always.
2. I make sure that I've consumed no alcohol during the 12 hours prior to a ride. [after a ride, well, that's another story]
3. Training -- MSF ERC every spring as a warmup

This has worked for me, and maybe the same reassurances will work for you, ArmandV.
 
1 - 20 of 56 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top