What do you say...?

[KKT]

Soooo, I'm finishing up with a client, seeing her to the door, we're chatting (I know her a bit - repeat customer), and I mention that I'm shopping for my next bike. She proceeds to tell me, in the most sincere, stern, heart-rending way possible about the son of a friend of a friend who died last weekend at the ripe old age of 22 riding a motorcycle while visiting back East. Then she all but demands that I not buy a bike, and never ride one again. :-\

I'm sorry for the loss, but the first thing that pops into my mind is: was he wearing a helmet?

What can I possibly say? Oh, you're so right. Someone died on the other side of the country so I will never ride again. :

I LOVE to ride, and I can't wait to get back on!

What do you all say when faced with that special brand of condescension and condemnation that only women who dare to flaunt societal norms get? Keep in mind, I need to stay polite; I can't really tell a customer to go shove it up her tailpipe, or smack down the old lady at the dinner party who loudly declared all motorcyclists idiots who are good for only one thing: organ donation.

As much as I may want to. >

I didn't say anything, just stood there and made a mental note not to tell her when I get my next monster. :-X

[t-byrd new]

Tell them that would be like being asked not to breathe.

Why is it ok for ppl to enjoy living in a bubble? Good for them...it's not for me, or anyone of us here.

Tanya

[lilmapleleaf]

I got a similar lecture from a coworker last week and responded by saying, "Thanks for your concern and your point is noted". I then changed the subject and moved on. Arguing about it won't do any good if they have already formed a negative opinion. Trying to talk out the lecture never works. I always feel like I've wasted my breath so I've quit trying.

People who don't ride, don't understand. Truthfully, motorcycles are dangerous whether you wear a helmet or not but we choose to accept the risk and ride. I wear a helmet and ride defensively. I don't see giving it up because of a unsolicited lecture.

[neruaL]

I often get the same thing from people who used to ride until (then they launch into a story about how they got run over and mangled and were in a coma etc). I just nod and offer condolences, and quietly think to myself "well, you're standing here talking to me now, so you could be out riding, sucka!"

[mangeldbug]

Ive heard my share of those stories too. Most people tell me "you aren't the type of person I'd see riding a motorcycle" although they just met me. Because Im a girl? Because Im short? Who knows. Then they launch into some story about a buddy's wife's cousin's friend who died while riding.

My first thought too is "what gear were they wearing?, was it the cage's fault or were they being squidly?" but I cant really say that to them. I agree that arguing wont help.

When I first started riding, my mom gave me a LOT of those stories and I would just tell her how I was different from the people she had heard about from coworkers, etc. I have taken the MSF and continue to learn and practice, I wear full gear, I never ride with high emotions or when very tired, never ride when Ive been drinking, and I ride paranoid in traffic (they are out to get you).

In short, I told her I take every safety precaution when riding to minimize getting into a wreck to begin with, and if something does happen, to minimize injury. I take the same approach with others now too. My mom is finally getting a little more used to the idea of me riding and even wanted to see pictures of me racing when she came to visit 2 weeks ago.

[Motoduc1]

Hope I'm not breaking any rules here by chiming in... olice:

If you ride, you will hear these stories...over and over again. There really isn't a clean way out, especially when you are dealing with a client. I suppose people 'mean well' (which is what you always say about folks who make rude and stupid comments).

I usually follow it up with my own story. Something from the newspaper about a tragedy, death, etc... that occurred involving an automobile crash, a small plane crash, a football player who died during summer camp, etc...

If something comes to mind, it works; it reminds the naysayer that life is short, unpredictable, often dangerous and that bad things happen to good people...even when they aren't doing something that is as much fun as riding a motorcycle!

Kent

[cierralisette]

I got discriminated against yesterday evening when I went in to buy a helmet.

The guy looked at me like a joke, then *after* I said I wanted a solid black one, he proceeded to show me a hideous pink one with flowers and flames on it, saying "this looks like more your style." What, because I'm female I automatically want flowers and pink? uh uh.

[ducatiloo]

I get that story at work all the time "did you see this week that a guy was..."
I always ask "was he wearing a helmet" answer is always "no"
Q "What gear did he have on " A "shorts, shirt mumble mumble"
Then I ask the bike question "was he drinking" it's always "well yea but...."

I then tell them "thank you for the info but I don't belong in that stat"

[CheerLiz]

NM, I know what you mean about the discrimination. It drives me up a WALL.

I just went into a "new" (to me) local dealer with my 5yo daughter and her friend in tow. DD grew up around the 750, and she is very respectful in dealerships when she has to go with me -- doesn't run around or touch the bikes, asks politely if she can pet the shop dog, etc. The 2 male salespeople ignored us until the ONLY female in the store came from OUT BACK to ask if I needed help.

I returned a few days later with DD again, and while the same female was getting the part I had ordered, I went over to look at the DP jackets, thinking I'd either try one on if they had something in my size or order one (hint - hint -- "I might spend a lot of money here"?) THREE male salespeople were within 2 yards of me and ignored me for 10 minutes. No eye contact, nothing. My daughter was even looking at the Monsters and saying, "Mommy, this is just like your motorcycle!" so there was no doubt that I was the rider, and not shopping for a significant other.

I walked out with my $24 part and nothing else. I'll drive the extra mileage to the dealer that I know won't treat me like a second-hand citizen, thanks. It's too bad, too, because the one I visited this weekend was closer and has better hours. Oh, well.

Liz

[monstrella]

I never post here but I know what you guys mean. I ride Monster 695 and my husband has his own bike.

So last sunday, we rode up to a local Circuit City to pick up a camera that we bought earlier.
We both had our gear on, helmets, gloves, etc. One of the guys that worked there immediately asked my husband what bike he has. He never asked me.

So I tell my husband out loud so the guy hears it that he didn't ask me because he automatically assumed that I rode on the back.

The guy mumbles something and finally asks me what bike I have. Whatever.
My husband smiles and says "don't worry, he is just your typical stereotyping kind of guy..."